Dear Rox,
I rarely am able to visit blogs these days, but I was drawn to
yours. Despite words of consolation, for me, death is always a
saddening experience. More so when the death involves a child. I am
a teacher, but am a mother first, and old fashioned as it may sound,
I've always hoped that parents will never have to bury their own
child. Just the thought of losing one's own child is just too heart
wrenching and I can't even begin to imagine actually losing one.
For a very long time now, I have never cried as much as I did when I
viewed your powerpoint presentation for Andrew. I couldn't help but
run to my own children and held them tight in my arms. Andrew
reminded me again of my own mortality.. of how easily my loved ones,
my children, my family can be taken away from me.. of how I should
never take things, and more importantly, people, for granted.
For months on end, I have been working like there is no tomorrow,
when what I should be doing is spending time with my children, like
there is no tomorrow. Though I am lucky to be able to work from
home, I have been spending most of the day, and night, and day, and
night again, working on my computer-- barely managing to check my
son's homeworks and nursing my 3month old baby. Andrew made me think
hard..If I lose my job, I'd just get another or concentrate on my
business, and the company will likewise get a replacement. But if my
children loses their mother, that would be a tragedy, and a greater
tragedy it would be if I lost any of my sons. There simply cannot be
any replacement.
Rox, Andrew will be a part of our family's prayers, may he find
peace in the arms of his maker. I will also pray for the miracle of
healing,this time, for his family, for you, and for everyone else
that Andrew has left behind.
Sincerely,
Nathalie
Dear Nathalie,
Your letter was one of the most touching that I have ever received. Indeed all of us parents work so hard for the future of our kids. We worry so much for the future that we sometimes forget that there is something more that our children need and that is our most precious time. When I try to look at the faces of my two kids when I arrived home at night (I have two boys, Blaise is eight and Vint is two) I just wish that they remain as kids forever.
But I guess that is impossible. I’m just enjoying them while they are young. As if nothing is more important to them than a “pasalubong”, even if its just choknut, or a piece of donut, they don’t care! Children are not brand conscious you know. It’s only the adults who do that. You can just see their faces light up when I arrive. I guess it’s the idea that I remember them while I was away from home and what little surprises I will bring that excites them. I treasure every minute of it that I spend my time with them. I can also see the gloom on their faces when I tell them I am too tired to play with them or read them a story. What more if they become teenagers and I ignore them when they need me.
Don’t you ever believe in the saying that it is the quality of time and not the quantity of time that you spend with your children. That is so wrong! It should be both, if you have a teenage son or daughter and you just see each other eye to eye on weekends, then better check their friendster account and chances are, you are not counted as one of their friends. Proof: I just made an instant survey to my second year students just now. In a class of 42 students only one have his mother’s account. That’s understandable since most parents I guess don’t have a friendster account. A follow up question was: Do you ever write something about your family’s regular activities in your friendster journal? Only 2 said yes. What I’m trying to say is that teens nowadays have their own lives and parents are being alienated from their lives even in these day of modern communications. And if we bury ourselves further with our work we are the ones who are shutting the door to our children and we will regret it sooner or later.
Let me just end my reply to your letter with these words from Veronica Shoffstall:
“After awhile you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand & chaining a soul & you learn that love doesn't mean possession & company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts & presents aren't promises & you begin to accept your defeats with your head up & your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. And you learn to build your roads today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans & futures have ways of falling down in mid-flight. After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden & decorate your own soil instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure that you really are strong & you really do have worth & you learn & you learn..."
Thank you very much for your prayers. I wish you and your family the best of health.
p.s. Don’t worry so much about the future, the future will take care of itself. Let’s just kiss and hug our children today and say we love them. By the way I’m going to post your letter on my blog , I love it! And I want to treasure it. I have another video clip. Please try not to cry on this one. Its about courage and fighting against all odds. Well I hope after this one I’ll make people laugh instead of feeling sad. This is the link: http://roxclaret.blogspot.com
Yours truly,
Rox
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